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Once Upon a Time....

·987 words·5 mins

there was a newbie in Bal Harbour. After wandering around for a while, he discovers the inn and sees Weasel standing there staring at the wall. The newbie looks at the wall, curious to see what has Weasel so fascinated. At that moment, the void fairy came and whacked Weasel upside the head with a _________.

okay. someone else write for a while. i don’t care what you write, how you make the story play out, adding or subtracting characters is kewl, just so long as you write (that means NO PICTURES, yasik. if you post them in THIS thread, i WILL have them removed).

there was a newbie in Bal Harbour. After wandering around for a while, he discovers the inn and sees Weasel standing there staring at the wall. The newbie looks at the wall, curious to see what has Weasel so fascinated. At that moment, the void fairy came and whacked Weasel upside the head with a GIANT PINK DILDO[/size:1t49axxw][/color:1t49axxw].

yeah.. that actually makes sense…

whacked Weasel upside the head with Ironwolf. The fairies were old and wise and knew correctly that it was Ironwolf’s right to hold down the Inn at any cost. During the goblin wars of 05 and even the horrific kobold invasion of 08 (when housing prices collapsed) Ironwolf would be found securing the Inn for all. One of Ironwolf’s greatest feats was to sit in the Inn while teh Brad logged in all of his chars one at a time. Weeks later proud Ironwolf was still found battling the forces of evil for a clear Inn.

The young n00b, unwise in the ways of sloth, had no idea who either Weasel or Ironwolf were or what they were looking at.

“Hello Sirs, I am young Sir William. You can call me Fable” the young n00b gleamed.

To which Weasel replied “Son we don’t care about your irl. We just like to poke fun and ____________________

..to which Weasel replied “Son we don’t care about your irl. We just like to poke fun, and now that you’re a citizen of BH, woe betide you should you ever take a few days off on holiday - mark my words.”

“But why, oh Great Weaselly One of the Sharp and Pointy Teeths?” inquired the noob.

Weasel replied, in a wise and resounding voice that brooked no doubt, “Because, young noob Fable, if you take even a few days leave, on your return you will be held down and forced to watch multiple clips of really really bad death metal [i:yqw02x2b](is there any other sort?)[/i:yqw02x2b] posted by Yasik, and then even worse… _________ …”

.. and even worse, Shiv and Toxis will sing relentlesly about songs no one has even heard in the past 10 years. Songs only a handful of really desperate, lonely 40 year old computer geeks that look like the comic guy from the simpsons have even heard.

And Jake will log on and make peace with the world, because he is just… and just wants to shut those two up, and everyone will go on botting and making new actions to enter annoying portals with names so long and cumbersome, you have to type 80 wpm to keep up with groups by doing it manually. Yes, Jake is good.

But just when all seems right in the world, Apprentice comes in and shifts in t a giant__________

But just when all seems right in the world, Apprentice comes in and shifts in t a giant…

…wedding singer named Brad and then proceeded to belt out all the old 80’s tunes that no one cared to remember. Splork then stepped in and _______

… Splork then stepped in, and with much authority said; “[b:t4o6mexl]Arglebargle, glop-glyf!?![/b:t4o6mexl]” and promptly went AFK before anyone could figure out what the hell he was on about.

This left everyone scratching their heads, wondering what would happen next. Seconds later they stopped wondering (and scratching), because it happened: ….

Seconds later they stopped wondering (and scratching), because it happened: ….Shyla forgot she was flying and had to run to the bronze dragon because its wing was torn and she was going to heal it. She stopped and uttered the words ’eugszr waouq’ fly Shyla and to her surprise she settled gently to the ground! A couple test scratches proved her iron skin spell was still in effect. And then__________

which was fortunate because she was suddenly attacked by Marchessa the red witch and a gang of minions from Theris with the intention of …

which was fortunate because she was suddenly attacked by Marchessa the red witch and a gang of minions from Theris with the intention of forcing the information on how one could reach the lands of Newbatia…it was a well known fact that Marchessa had grown weary of constant battle…she longed to retire to this unknown country and sell apples, just like _______

…just like the ancient warrior maiden Firebrand, who had grown bitter about the proliferation of monks and necromancers who had become warriors more legendary than herself. But alas Marchessa was defeated by…

But alas Marchessa was defeated by…

…Toxis getting drunk and then singing on the gossip channel. It took all of DS just to __________

It took all of DS just to … hold back the evil unyielding horde that is Toxis and the Brad’s other alt characters. Just when things looked the darkest, Autolycos bampfed in, stabbed Toxis in the back with a hearty ‘STFU’ and ……

..and continued on his way to the junk dealer with another load of horned helmets and scaly leggings…

As he passed by the local inn, he was stopped by a boy who asked him if he had seen the most beautiful girl near the town fountain. To which Autolycos commented that the girl in fact hadn’t been seen in such a long time. The boy cried out,“Yes indeed! and I blame…..”